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Today we’re talking about building a joy-filled life through the concept of pillars. I love the fact that pillars can stand alone but that they’re even more powerful, more useful when together, they are holding something up. Pillars are used in construction, in the creation of something important and massive. They’re the supportive structures on which something magnificent can be built!
The 4 concepts I’m going to share with you today are exactly like that. They are instrumental, crucial and necessary to building and supporting your ideal life, one that’s full of joy! These four concepts, what I call the 4 pillars of a joy-filled life can and will change your life!
Before we dive into this powerful content, I want to make one thing very clear… YOU are the only person in control of, in charge of and responsible for your life and your happiness. In other words, personal responsibility is something that we MUST embrace. Every day when we wake up, we have a choice to make. We can take full responsibility for ourselves and our actions and the life that is ours, or we can play the blame game. We can make excuses about why we’re unhappy. We can blame it on the media, the politicians, our family, or our friends but at the end of the day, placing blame instead of embracing personal responsibility? It will only leave us feeling empty, shameful, guilty and depressed. It’s time that we rise up, step up and do something great with our life regardless of what has happened to us or what is going on around us.
Let me share something with you…
You weren’t created just to live and die. You weren’t created just to get by! NO! You were created to THRIVE. You were created ON purpose WITH purpose FOR a purpose! And you are called to live an abundant, full, joy-filled life so that others can see your light shining and say “I want some of THAT!”
So… it starts with taking personal responsibility. No more blaming others and no more excuses.
Repeat after me “my life is what it is because of me and the choices I HAVE made and the choices that I WILL make in the future. I accept personal responsibility.”
Yes! You grow, girl!
Okay… I’m about to give you the blueprints for how to construct the 4 pillars you need to live a joy-filled life, but what you do with this will be up to you. If you’ll take personal responsibility and implement these things in your life, your life will be forever changed. You’ll experience breakthrough and freedom and genuine joy, just like I have found in my own life.
Ready to live JOYfully? Let’s dive in!
PILLAR #1. Forgiveness
Forgiveness frees you. It frees your own heart. There was a time in my life where unforgiveness was eating me alive. There was a friend of mine who was hurting me deeply over and over again and she didn’t even know it. She was failing to communicate with me and I’m a pretty non-confrontational person so I really didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want to bring it to her attention so I did the worst thing possible…I just wrestled in that and I couldn’t and didn’t forgive and it just ate me alive! And then on Good Friday service that year, I remember sitting in the church pew and listening to the preacher preach and he was sharing the story of Jesus on the cross and how as he was being brutally beaten and murdered, crucified, that Jesus on the cross was crying out to God the Father and saying, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they do”. My eyes were opened wide. If Jesus on the cross could openly ask for forgiveness and forgive people that were beating and crucifying him, my goodness gracious, then absolutely I could forgive anyone for anything that I needed to! And so when I forgave, it changed the game and it brought freedom and peace to my heart.
So how do we forgive? Like Jesus. Why do we forgive? Because of Jesus.
Friend, we don’t and we didn’t deserve forgiveness. Right? We still don’t. Yet, God the Father offers it to us freely when we come to him and we ask him to forgive us. In fact, did you know that we are actually commanded to forgive? I want to share Matthew 6:14 & 15 with you. “If you forgive others, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you.” Basically, we’re told here that unforgiveness is unforgivable and the reason is because offering and giving forgiveness is good for us. All the rules and guidelines that the good Father has written in the bible are in our best interest and He wrote them and put them in place to help us live an abundant and joy-filed life!
I love to think of what I call the full circle, the full picture of forgiveness. Because when it comes to forgiveness, there’s always two people that need to be involved. There’s the one that has done the hurting and the one that has been hurt. So, if you think of this like a complete circle, you think about person #1 who has done the hurting, who goes to the one that they’ve hurt and they’re asking for forgiveness. They are acknowledging what they’ve done. Now, it’s up to person #2 to accept the apology and offer them forgiveness. Then, it’s back to the person on the other side of the circle to receive that forgiveness. So, when you look at it in that light, it’s really just this beautiful, full circle picture.
PILLAR #2. Gratitude
You hear grateful, thankful, blessed and I think that we need to address the difference between thankfulness and gratitude. Thankfulness, to me, really is words, like saying thank you when you’re given a gift. Gratitude is really more like a thoughtful pause of appreciation and it’s deep rooted. It’s almost like a lifestyle. You hear attitude of gratitude and that really embodies a full lifestyle of gratitude. It’s rooted in your bones, in your soul. The bible says “Give thanks in all things, give thanks to the Lord…His love endures forever! Come before God in prayer with thanksgiving”!
This has been huge for me because everything changed in my life when I really grasped this concept of a lifestyle of gratitude. When I began to look at my past and the trials and the hard things that I had walked through with gratitude instead of playing the victim, I became grateful because they shaped me into the person that I have become today.
Here’s a cool idea and something you can try. Make a gratitude go-to list! It’s actually a running list that you can continuously add to, just making a note of things that you can be grateful for.
PILLAR #3. Honor
This is one of my favorites. This is the golden rule and it’s so huge. Essentially, it’s treating others exactly how you want to be treated. Matthew 7:12 says “In everything, treat others as you would want them to treat you.” Mark 12:30 & 31 says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
My goodness, gracious! I feel like the solution for all the problems in our world really comes down to this. Honor. Can you imagine a world where every single individual treated others exactly how they wanted to be treated? With love, with patience, with kindness, with respect. My goodness, we would change the world!
PILLAR #4. Relationships
We were meant to be in relationship with others. Remember in the beginning in creation when God created man, Adam, and He said “ it is not good for man to be alone” and so He caused Adam to fall asleep and He took a rib from his side and He created woman, Adam’s wife, Eve, to stand beside him, to be in relationship with him, to be in union with him. You see this from the beginning of time. Jesus sent the disciplines out in groups of two. You look at the trinity – the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We’re never alone. We’re called to be in relationships. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two of three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” I would encourage you to cultivate great relationships in your life. And I often talk about a concept that I like to call your “5 tribe”. This is where you think about, assess, maybe even write down the names of the 5 people who you spend the most time with. Take a look at their lives and consider what you want your ideal life to look like. You’re looking for a joy-filled life, right? Probably one that’s full of great relationships and honor and love and truth. If you show me your friends, I will show you your future. You will become the sum of the 5 people that you spend the most time with.
Now that being said, the most important relationship that we can have in our life, is that with Jesus Christ. As I said before, God the Father created you ON purpose WITH purpose FOR a purpose and he loves you so much! He knows the number of hairs on your head. He loves you so much that he wants to offer you freedom and an abundant life and an eternal life with Him. He loves you so much that he sent his son to die for you. Marinate in that for just a second. Somebody loves you so much that they gave up their life for you. Jesus laid down his life for you! And he wants relationship with you. And it will be the single most relationship that you will invest into. Will life be perfect when you have relationship with Jesus? No. But it will be peaceful and free and there will be genuine joy. You’ll still walk through hills and valleys, that’s a guarantee whether you have relationship with Jesus or not. But John 16:33 says, Jesus said “In Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer (be JOYFUL!), I have overcome the world.” Psalm 30:11 says, “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have clothed me with JOY!” I love that scripture.
Deep rooted, JOY-FILLED living ultimately comes from ONE place- relationship with Jesus. Relationship with him is the final, and most important pillar. In fact, the three other pillars will come naturally as a result of pursuing a relationship with Jesus and by growing in God’s wisdom!
Let’s recap the 4 pillars of a joy-filled life:
1. Forgiveness
2. Gratitude
2. Honor
4. Relationships, especially relationship with Jesus!
Think of each of the 4 pillars as trees, as the space between the roots and the fruit of your life. The pillars are like the tree trunk, standing firm and helping to support the branches and the fruit, and delivering the nutrients that the tree needs so that it can produce abundantly.
I love the way that John 15:4-11 illustrates this so beautifully!
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”
So there you have it, friend. A beautiful, joy-filled life is possible, and I’m inviting you to step into it!
