From Broken to Beautiful: the Truth about KatieHedrick.com (My Untold Story)

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What you’re about to read is raw and real. It’s tragedy and triumph. It’s true and it’s beautiful. There’s something in it that affects half of our population, or more. There’s also something in it that will set captives free. 

It’s finally time to share, with transparency and honesty, the story that is mine…

Divorce Happened To Me

Let me explain… I was the child of a divorced family. I was 5 when it happened.

Before I go deeper, please know this… I have never questioned my parents’ love for me or their desire for the best in my life. I love, respect, honor and bless them. And… SO much good has come out of walking through a long season that was really, really hard.

I should also note, this is actually not even about my parents. Though you’ll see me reference the divorce again, this is truly not about them at all. This is not to condemn, criticize or even question why the divorce happened. This is about a God who is good. It’s about my God, who created something beautiful from the broken pieces of my young life. 

The Divorce Affected Me Deeply for a Really Long Time

Growing up, I was really confused about why the divorce happened and I spent a lot of my younger days feeling physically sick from the pain inside of me. 

I remember experiencing a gut-wrenching stomach ache, almost every single morning before I would leave for school. I remember sitting on my Kindergarten teacher’s lap and crying in front of the entire class, feeling ashamed and trying to sort things out in my young brain. 

The mental game was worse than the physical pain. My elementary-aged mentality told me that to be loved and accepted at one parent’s house, I needed to be “this” type of person. However, at the other parent’s house, I needed to be “that” type of person. I didn’t want to hurt anyone and I certainly didn’t want to let anyone down. So I learned to live two separate lives in two different houses. This “act” became my new normal and I got really good at it.

My older brother became my only constant and I clung to him. I dreaded moments when we couldn’t be together, like during his basketball games when I would agonize over the simple choice of which parent to sit with during the game. Which parent was I going to have to “hurt” unintentionally? Those kind of moments and decisions made my stomach knot up. 

The Dating Game

In high school, I made really poor choices in the dating world, because I was looking for something to fix the pain in my heart. I dated “bad-boys.” I tried to fix them, I tried to save them. In hindsight, I was trying to fix and save myself. 

Eventually, I dated a few genuinely good guys, but I would always end the relationship and resort back to a toxic relationship, hurting the “nice guy” badly in the process. It was a mess. I had serious work to do, on myself.

Happily Ever After?

In January 2005, at the age of 19, I met the man that I would marry. He was a Southern Boy with blue eyes, an accent and a personality that charmed me to the core. He was different than any other guy I had ever dated. He actually was not my “type” at all. He was better. He was the exact “type” that God knew I needed. 

At 28 years old, he was a “man.” Somehow, the 9 year age gap between us solidified for me that this was the man I would marry one day. I was an old soul at heart, worn out from navigating my past, ready to settle down and start a new life. 

We got married in 2006 and began our new life together. I was so grateful, but never fully trusting. I couldn’t shake off my past. I was now married to a good man, but everything wasn’t just magically okay like I’d expected it to be. My past haunted me. I thought about it. I dreamed about it. I just knew that divorce was my destiny because I had walked through it as a child. 

I experienced so much anxiety that I had to have tests run on my heart. I was shackled with fear and I knew that a heart attack at a crazy young age was an actual possibility in my life if things didn’t change.

I desperately wanted to be free from the pain and confusion of my past and I wanted to look forward to a promising future. I was seeking, and sometimes when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

A Miracle was about to Happen…

In 2011, after 5 years of marriage, a friend connected me with a mentor who would start the process that would eventually change my life. I was seeking growth and God provided. I dove headfirst into personal development and I began to let it sink into my heart.

I learned about the power of forgiveness, gratitude and honor. I read books, listened to audios, attended seminars, poured over scripture and began to pray. My prayers became different than before. They were less rehearsed and repetitive and more of me just talking to God like he was a friend. God was listening… and he was working on my heart.

Both of my parents had taken me to church since I was a little girl and I knew that God was real, that he loved me and that he wanted the best for me. But it became apparent to me that although I believed in him, I had never fully trusted in him. I had never completely given him the weight of my past or the keys to my future. I had never asked him to wash me clean of my mess. And I’d never asked him to lead me into a future that was filled with his goodness.

I was broken and full of shame for the choices I had made. My soul was at unrest. I needed someone or something to save my life… but it seemed that it couldn’t possibly be so simple as crying out to God and just asking for it.

Turns out… it was that simple.

Broken to Breakthrough to Beautiful 

In February 2012, I awoke abruptly in the night. Massive revelation and the Holy Spirit fell over me. In that moment, I realized that if I hadn’t walked through everything in my past, I wouldn’t be where I was. I wouldn’t have my husband, I wouldn’t have my kids, I wouldn’t have the bonus family members that I gained as a result of my family dividing and then multiplying.

I realized I COULDN’T change the past and honestly, now I didn’t even WANT to change the past. God brought me through it all and now my life overflowed with blessings, because of what had happened in my past.

I sat in bed in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face. There were tears of gratitude, joy and relief. I began to THANK God for my past and in that exact moment, I decided to fully trust God with my future.

I felt wrapped up in love in that moment. I knew that God had sent his only son, Jesus to walk the earth as a man, die on a cross (a perfect sacrifice for a messy people), and then live again. God sent Jesus to bring hope and life abundant!

I gave my heart to God fully that night. I asked him to wash my messy past clean and to set my soul free. He did it in an instant.  

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“For I Know the Plans I Have For You,” declares the Lord

It felt sort of like I had been drowning in the sea of life. And finally, FINALLY I looked up to see Jesus’ hand reaching down through the waters to save my life. I took his hand and he pulled me up, into life abundant, true faith, deep joy and genuine happiness. 

Life did not magically become perfect when I gave my heart to God that night, but it did become peaceful and free. There were still hills and valleys. There were both blessings and lessons. But I’ve realized the hard times are the moments when God has the most room to work in my life. I’ve become grateful for the struggles because they are opportunities to ask God to pour out his wisdom.

Life Outside my Comfort Zone

God called me to step outside my comfort zone A LOT in the years that followed that February night. It was terrifying and exhilarating. I stepped into public speaking, my GREATEST fear. I did it for God’s glory and honor. I shared business tips and personal growth and wisdom. Most importantly, I talked about Jesus and how my life had been changed.

My skill set and my faith grew and grew. Unfortunately, so did my anxiety about public speaking. I wrestled between saying “yes” to the doors God opened and making excuses as to why I should say “no” instead. I broke out in hives at the thought of events I was slated to speak at. And I battled extreme fatigue after speaking events. It was a messy, but beautiful season of growth.

I knew that God was in it, because each time after I would speak, women would meet me out in the hall to share their stories with me. We would cry and pray together. God was working in a huge way.

Then I began to deal with health issues. There were several unrelated issues that I walked through. I used all of them as an excuse to step farther and farther away from God’s calling on my life. Finally, when I had a reactive lymph node removed, my tongue became (temporarily) partially paralyzed. (Read about it here.) I used that situation as my final excuse to throw in the towel on public speaking altogether. It was an easy way out.

“Why do you run from your calling?” -God

I had a holy unrest in my soul for the next long while, but I continued to grow in God’s wisdom and learned to discern his whisper.

One random day, a voice in my heart said “Why do you run from your calling?”

I shoved it down deep. I tried to shake it off. But I knew who was asking me the question.

“Oh please… PLEASE don’t call me back into any kind of public speaking,” I thought.

The Car Ride of Revelation

Several months went by and I continually heard “Why do you run from your calling?”

I continued to ignore it until one day in December 2018. I was driving by myself, listening to a podcast that I thought could help my husband with his business. It was about eBooks. (He’s always ahead of me technology-wise. He’d been telling me about eBooks for years at that point.)

The podcast was NOT what I expected. It was a woman who was creating the eBooks and she had an entire business built around it. Ideas exploded inside my head.

“I could create an eBook,” I thought out loud, with no one else in the car to even hear me. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who has done that!?) I thought about a blog and a full website. Maybe it was time to share my gifts with the world again, specifically with women?!

“The time is now. The winds of change are coming,” the voice in my heart said immediately.

The Creation of KatieHedrick.com 

When I pulled in the driveway back at home, I decided to tell my husband what had just happened. I actually hoped he would laugh and say that it was a crazy, bad idea.

I walked into the house and looked at my husband.

“I think I’m supposed to start a website for women, where I share about God and how he’s worked in my life so that other women can experience breakthrough and genuine happiness in their lives too.”

My husband didn’t blink. He looked at me and said, “do it.”

I kind of wanted to throw up at the thought of creating something I knew NOTHING about. I’d never built a website, I knew nothing about eBooks, heck, I didn’t even have an Instagram account?! (I’m the most “non-millennial” millennial you’ll ever meet.)

With God’s guidance and my husband’s support, I went to work. I immersed myself in learning all the things I did not know and KatieHedrick.com came to life. Designed to equip Women with Wisdom, it’s changing lives.

God has whispered to my heart that millions of captives are going to be set free. I don’t know how, when or where, but I’m going to trust and obey his call.

The Best is Yet to Come, for Me and for YOU!

Now, what about you? What is the one thing in your past that was so dang hard? It’s the thing that makes you cringe a little bit every time you think about it. Sometimes the thought of it even makes you cry. Sometimes it makes you feel afraid or keeps you awake at night. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You have the thing in your mind right now. 

Oh friend, there is hope. There is freedom and life abundant. There is a plan for your future that is good.

Today I live in freedom and sharing that with the world makes me happy. In fact, it’s my responsibility to tell you that freedom and happiness are a free gift. That gift was packaged up as the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Open the package, receive it with your heart and you’ll be walking in the same freedom that I have found. Maybe you’ve already received the gift of Jesus, but you just need a reminder that he has a plan for you and it’s good.  

I’m on a mission to set millions of captives free in Jesus’ name. I don’t expect the journey to be easy, but I know it will be worth it. No one enjoys talking about the junk in their past, but if that’s what it takes for even one person to achieve breakthrough in their life, then I will gladly step into that discomfort. I’ll do it again and again.

Thanks for being a part of my journey and a part of KatieHedrick.com. I hope you’ll stick around to see what happens next. I have a feeling that with God in this, it’s going to be really, really good.     

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Take action on your growth journey by downloading my Free eBook “7 Habits of Happiness.” It’s the original Free resource that God planted in my heart for you!

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