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Quick Question…
From one mama to another, I want you to picture this…. You’ve got the baby AND the toddler down for a nap at the same time. 🙌🏼 Hopefully they’ll both stay asleep for 90 glorious minutes. What will you do with your time?
A) Take a nap yourself!
B) Fold the never-ending pile of laundry
C) Scroll through Facebook
D) Text or Call a friend
If you chose any, or all of the options this episode is for you, mama!
The Messy Middle of Motherhood…
Somewhere between the glow of pregnancy, the sleepless nights that follow, the 97th episode of paw patrol, the 14th diaper change of the day, the endless laundry, the hundreds of packed lunches and field trips and kissed boo boos and school notes and ball games and late night help with class assignments… somewhere within the organized chaos of all that lies the “messy middle” of motherhood.
Sheer exhaustion, tearful prayers, worry that we’re messing up, kisses of assurance, hugs and giggles and loads of grace. Sound familiar? Then mama, you’re IN the “messy middle” of motherhood and I’m right there with you, and it’s a bittersweet, beautiful, hard yet wonderful place to be…..
I have to share this true story with you. It’s the perfect example of the “messy middle of motherhood” as we kick off a podcast episode which will be 100% relatable to every mom out there.
Recently for my son Canyon’s 7th birthday, we bought him a drum set. Yeah. Like a real life drum set.
The plan was that on the day of his birthday, while he was at school, my husband and I would assemble the drum set, so that when Canyon arrived home after school, it would be all set up and ready to play.
Easy peasy, right? WRONG!
My husband ended up stuck on a job site that day, leaving me at home to put together this tiny, puzzle of a drum set.
I’ll be danged if I was going to let our son arrive home from school and not have this grand surprise assembled and waiting for him so….
I unpacked all the pieces of the drum set. There were A LOT of pieces. I stared at the pieces with stress paralysis for a good 10 minutes.
Then I psyched myself up to put the thing together. After I had given myself a phenomenal motivational speech, I quickly came to realize one very important thing….
The drum set had come with ZERO assembly directions. I frantically dug back through all the packaging. Nothing. I grabbed my phone and found the listing on Amazon. Nada, as far as set up guidance. As a last ditch effort, I searched YouTube. Would you believe there was not one single setup tutorial for that dang drum set?!
I sat down on the living room floor, with like 75 pieces surrounding me in organized chaos. I was sweating. I was laughing. I was crying.
I was smack dab in the messy middle of motherhood. Literally! It was a mess.
I ended up assembling the drum set based off of one Amazon picture and the flashback knowledge I had retained from playing the drums when I was back in high school. (Fun fact: I had a purple trap set way back in the day. I actually wish I still had it!) Just a few minutes after getting that little drum set put together, Canyon walked in the door with the biggest birthday smile and he’s been playing some awesome beats ever since.
The journey of motherhood has shaped me. It’s changed me. It’s stretched me. LITERALLY. It’s grown me, in every possible way. And the Lord continues to show me incredible things, oftentimes through my kids.
When our oldest child, Chloe was born into the world, I was so beyond clueless.
I remember bringing her home from the hospital and feeling stunned. I literally didn’t know what to do. So….. I simply held her, fed her, changed her and napped her. (Lol!) And simultaneously, something else happened…. I fell completely in love with her, and as a result of that, I leaned into the Lord and my husband more than ever before. It was beautiful and sweet and sometimes hard. I admittedly made it extra hard on myself, because I placed crazy high, perfectionist expectations on myself.
At the time, we lived far away from all of our family. So the days with a newborn often felt long and lonely. I remember feeling tremendously blessed, but crying often. One time I called the neighbor, crying. I asked her to come over and watch baby Chloe for a few minutes, just so I could get through a quick shower. It was messy and beautiful and necessary. I learned that straight up sometimes you NEED to ask for help.
A couple of years rolled by before I asked my husband what he thought about bringing baby #2 into the world.
In my husband’s true fashion, he replied “I’m game” and that was that. Along came baby Chase.
That little dude tamed the anxious perfectionist in me in a hot minute. I can’t really explain it other than when I first held him in my arms, it was like a spirit of peace and calm came over me.
Shortly after Chase was born, I dove headfirst into a journey that would bring total life transformation for me. If you want to hear all about it, you can go back to episode #1 and check out my story. The freedom and joy that I experienced in my life during that breakthrough season? It’s THE reason that this podcast exists. It’s THE reason that I’m passionate about helping women renew their mind with truth!
A couple more years rolled by, and we knew that our family wasn’t quite yet complete… so along came baby Canyon. Grand Canyon we called him on the day he was born. We still call him that!
And let me tell you… 99% of the time he lives out that name. You could probably tell that from what I shared about him in the beginning of the episode.
But this one time… God used a moment with Canyon to show me something deep about the messy middle of motherhood.
I’ll never forget it.
Canyon stood just feet away from me. His arms were crossed and he was sobbing. I reached my arms open wide to embrace him and he just stood there, unwilling to move towards me and he continued to cry.
As tears streamed down his face and with my heart breaking, revelation fell over me. I was, and still am in the “messy middle” of motherhood.
As my son stood in front of me weeping and refusing to lean into me, I had a second revelation.
I realized that God, the Good Father sometimes feels the same way that I felt in that tough moment.
We are all really just a bunch of stubborn, confused, and sometimes broken hearted little kids running around down here on earth.
Or rather, we are standing still with our arms crossed and tears staining our face as we refuse to move, determined we can figure everything out all on our own.
We as God’s children, and as mamas who have been entrusted with little ones… we would benefit unspeakably if we would just uncross our arms and run to the Good Father.
What if we just allowed him to hold us, to fill us with his Holy Spirit and to lead us forward in his wisdom. What if we fell to our knees and cried out “God we don’t know what we’re doing? Please take this!”
It’s a beautiful picture when we visualize ourself in the Good Father’s arms. That’s what he wants for us. He wants us to lean in and look up.
His yoke is easy. His burden is light. He wants relationship with us, he wants to teach us and to help us!
He loves us so much that he sent HIS son to die in our place so that we could have freedom and eternal life with him!
He gave us the Holy Spirit and his living word, the Bible to help us as we journey through life. He gave us a roadmap for everything from marriage to parenting to finances and so much more!
All this is to say that beautiful girl, if you’re in the trenches, the “messy middle” of motherhood, please know that you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. I feel you. And so does the Good Father who created you. My encouragement for you today is to cling to that, enjoy the “messy middle” and to reach out and encourage another mama who is in the trenches just like you and me. We’re better together!
