In a recent episode of the “Joy at Home” podcast, I had the pleasure of welcoming Todd Wilson, a name well known in the homeschooling world. Todd is a husband, father, grandfather, author, speaker, and the mastermind behind Family Man Ministries. He also hosts the Smiling Homeschooler podcast. This episode took a deep dive into the joys and challenges of homeschooling, especially from Todd’s perspective as a homeschool dad. Here, I’ll break down the key insights and actionable advice shared during our chat.
The Toughest Part of Being a Homeschool Dad
Balancing Family Dynamics
Todd spilled the beans about the unique challenges he faced as a homeschool dad. He emphasized the commitment required for homeschooling and how it sometimes made him feel like a piece of old furniture—replaced or overlooked within the family dynamic. Todd noted that while he was all in for his wife’s efforts, there were moments when he felt like his needs and desires were as secondary as a side salad at a steakhouse.
Key Takeaways:
Create Balance: Strive to balance educational responsibilities with personal and marital needs.
Acknowledge Feelings: Recognize and validate the feelings of being overlooked. Open communication with your spouse about these feelings is crucial.
The Importance of Nurturing Relationships
Todd stressed the importance of nurturing the relationship between husband and wife. He believed that a strong marriage made homeschooling a bonus rather than a burden. He encouraged couples to prioritize their relationship, reminding us that love and attention should be given not only to the children but also to each other.
Actionable Advice:
- Date Nights: Schedule regular date nights to reconnect and focus on each other.
- Daily Check-ins: Take a few minutes each day to check in with your spouse about their day and feelings.
Practical Tips for Wives
Intentional Prioritization
I asked Todd for practical advice on how wives could be more intentional about prioritizing their marriages. Todd offered simple yet effective strategies, such as taking a moment during the day to think about their husbands, even if it was just for five minutes. This small act could make a significant difference in how husbands felt valued and appreciated.
Key Strategies:
- Small Acts of Kindness: Leave a note of appreciation or send a quick text message to show you’re thinking about him.
- Compliments: Regularly compliment your husband on his efforts and qualities.
Choosing Your Husband
One of the most impactful takeaways from Todd’s insights was the idea of “choosing him (your husband).” He encouraged wives to consciously choose their husbands over their children in moments of decision-making. This didn’t mean neglecting the kids but ensuring that the husband felt prioritized and valued.
Practical Steps:
- Decision-Making: Involve your husband in decisions and show that his opinion matters.
- Quality Time: Dedicate time specifically for your husband, separate from family time.
Words of Affirmation
The Power of Affirmation
Todd shared that husbands loved to hear affirming words from their wives. He listed several affirmations that resonated with him, such as being told he was smart, strong, and capable. He reflected on how these compliments often diminished after marriage and encouraged wives to revive this practice.
Affirmation Ideas:
- Verbal Praise: Regularly tell your husband that you appreciate his hard work and dedication.
- Written Notes: Leave notes around the house with affirmations and words of encouragement.
The Impact of Small Gestures
Small Acts, Big Impact
Throughout our conversation, Todd emphasized the power of small gestures. He suggested that even minor acts of kindness, like a note left on the steering wheel or a compliment about his efforts, could significantly impact a husband’s feelings of love and appreciation.
Simple Gestures:
Acts of Service: Do something small that you know he will appreciate, like making his favorite meal.
Surprise Notes: Leave a note in his lunch or on his car dashboard.
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Conclusion
As the episode wrapped up, I expressed gratitude for Todd’s candidness and the valuable insights he shared. I encouraged listeners to implement the simple yet profound advice Todd provided, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing marriage within the homeschooling journey. The conversation served as a reminder that while homeschooling could be challenging, nurturing the marital relationship was essential for a thriving family life.
Final Thoughts:
- Prioritize Your Marriage: A strong marriage is the foundation of a successful homeschooling experience.
- Embrace the Journey: Focus on the relationships you are building with your children and spouse, and remember that even the hard times can lead to beautiful memories.
Listeners were encouraged to connect with Todd through his various platforms, including the Smiling Homeschooler podcast and Family Man Ministries, where they could find additional resources and support for their homeschooling journey. The episode concluded with a call to action for listeners to share the episode with friends, highlighting the importance of community and support among homeschooling families.
Connect with Todd Wilson at TheSmilingHomeschooler.com or FamilyManWeb.com
