TUNE IN: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | PANDORA | AMAZON MUSIC
Kairos Hope is a Christian recovery home for survivors of sexual trauma. They help women 18+ find freedom through Biblical instruction and clinical mental health counseling. Their program is completely free to their residents and lasts 6-9 months.
Today, we’re going to be having a really eye-opening conversation about something happening in our world that is pretty dark. But the thing that is so incredible and brings me so much hope is that oftentimes, we will find that there is a light shining in the darkness. And so today we are going to be talking about the dark reality of sexual trauma and how it affects so many women. But we’re also going to be talking about an incredible organization that is truly a light in that darkness. And that organization, that ministry is called Kairos Hope. The work that Kairos Hope is doing is powerful, effective, and it’s so very needed. I first heard about this organization and its mission when a beautiful girl named Miranda Coulson spoke at our local church. And she’s joined me on the podcast along with the Executive Director and Founder of Kairos Hope, Eryka Mabus McMillan.
Eryka is a licensed therapist and does EMDR trauma therapy with the residents of Kairos Hope and she is also working on her doctorate in traumatology. Miranda is the Transitional Care Manager at Kairos and is currently getting her MA in Human Services Counseling. She helps mentor the girls as well as do case management as they graduate the program.
I am so inspired by these girls. From the work that they’re doing to their own personal stories to the way that they’re using their gifts and talents to bring positive change and impact to the lives of these other women, it is so incredible.
The Truth About Sexual Trauma
Before we dive into the mission and ministry of Kairos Hope, I want to talk about the very real, very dark reality of what sexual trauma is and how it affects so many women.
As Eryka and Miranda share, sexual trauma is a term they use to kind of encompass everything from a one-time rape all the way up to sex trafficking. Kairos Hope actually serves as part of MO-CATE, Missouri Coalition Against Trafficking and Exploitation so a lot of the residents they see are human trafficking victims. They have found that there is over 10,500 cases of human trafficking in the US in just one year. So this is something that’s happening in our backyard, it’s happening around us and we can’t turn a blind eye to it. Also, one of the realities Eryka and Miranda share is that there is a lot of sexual abuse that happens during childhood that never gets dealt with. They explain that one in four women will experience sexual abuse when they’re younger, and in that, they end up not dealing with it, hiding it, and not getting the help they need. And therefore when they hit adulthood, they’re seeking trauma therapy to work through it. Another shocking statistic: A recent study in Europe actually showed that 98% of women have experienced some form of sexual trauma in their life. So this isn’t just some odd story that’s happening across the world but rather, it’s in our families. It’s in our home. And it’s something that needs to be addressed. Eryka and Miranda also mention that the other thing they see is this is really closely related to domestic violence and life-controlling issues such as eating disorders, addiction, and suicidality. So it’s not just a one-time rape. It’s a rape that moves into PTSD and life-controlling issues that can affect a young lady for a long time.
There is so much involved with this and it breaks my heart. Yet, I feel like it’s so important to talk about this because like these girls said, I think it’s so much more prevalent than we realize. And I also think that it affects so many women who don’t have the opportunity to talk about it, to heal from it, to work through it, and to share about it. It’s affecting people that you know, it may be affecting you personally, you, the one that’s listening right now. So, the girls are here today to let you know that there is hope and that there is healing available. And if this does affect somebody that you know, there are ways to help.
The Kairos Hope Story
Eryka shares that Kairos Hope has actually been her dream since middle school, but she just didn’t have all the details yet. At 14 years old, she had actually experienced her own gang rape that left her really lost and confused and she ended up in a Christian residential recovery home. And while she was there, God really got a hold of her heart and was like, “I am going to turn this around and I’m going to use it for good.” And in that, Eryka started brainstorming Kairos Hope and how she could create a comprehensive program that serves all the needs these women have without any costs associated with it. So at the age of 18, she gave the IRS a call, inquiring about how to start a non-profit. They told her that she was way too young and to call back when she’s 21. Eryka didn’t like that answer. So, she contacted some of her friends and got it started. So at age 18, she was running Kairos Hope.
Then, they needed to purchase a home to provide residential care. They started dreaming about what would be the perfect home, how many bathrooms, how many bedrooms, and they found the perfect house on Zillow. They went and toured the home and it was their dream house. But they only had $40 in their bank accounts. And so they went back to their supporters and let them know that they had found the perfect home but that they needed money and fast because houses were flying off the market. And within a month, they were able to get the down payment they needed… going from $40 to $30,000 for that down payment.
Seeing God work gave Eryka so much motivation as a young Christian to just keep pursuing this. As they started building the program, they wanted it to be fully comprehensive. Eryka provides all the counseling and they’ve taken women over the age of 18, who have experienced any form of sexual trauma and they give them exactly what they’re needing and individualize it for them. May of the girls pursue education because they may not have ever received a high school diploma, or they may not have pursued college afterward because they just didn’t feel that they had the energy or the worth to do so. They also give them family, a community that they get to be a part of and feel like they’re not alone is a big piece of that.
Kairos Hope is located in Hannibal, Missouri and they have four acres out in the country, which is great because a lot of these sexual trafficking survivors are coming out of the cities and they just get to come there, take a break, rest, and just experience a more peaceful environment in an old farmhouse that they’ve completely remodeled to be a place for these valuable women to be at. And so it’s a great opportunity for them to kind of take a break and really seek God and their healing.
This is just so incredible. Kairos Hope truly is a home and a program and a family all in one, right out in the country in the heart of the Midwest. When I found out where they were located, which is really not that far from where I am, it did kind of blow me away strictly because there is such a need even here in the heart of the Midwest. They take in survivors from all over the country, but it’s so eye-opening to see such a need for this basically out in the middle of nowhere where we would naively think there are no problems. But it’s everywhere. It’s so prevalent and wow, how God worked throughout this whole story. Everything from Eryka starting at 18 years old and just straight up calling the IRS. We run multiple businesses and dealing with the IRS can be not that much fun so to see her as an 18 year old young adult calling up the IRS, God planted that courage and vision in her heart. I mean, it is just incredible. And then when she was somewhat shut down by them and to not let that stand in her way and persevere and continue to move forward in what God has for her and for her life, and for the lives of all of these sexual trauma survivors that need to be helped, that need to hear about Jesus, that need to be taken care of and provided for and taught these life skills and biblical truths and to have a family and all the incredible good things that Kairos Hope is doing… It’s just amazing. And I see our Heavenly Father who is so good and so faithful in the heart of it all, and it’s just awesome.
The Heart and Mission of Kairos Hope
The one question that Eyka and Miranda often get asked is, what does Kairos mean? And that’s really where the heart comes from. Kairos is actually a Greek word, meaning an opportune moment, but it was historically used as a time when God met you where you’re at. And the Karios Hope home is a place where God meets you where you’re at and He brings you hope. Because these girls have reached their end, they’ve been struggling with substance abuse, addiction, self-harm, eating disorders, just trying to cover up that pain from their trauma, and they can’t do it on their own. And that’s where everybody ends up at some point in their life where they just can’t go on without Christ. And so Kairos Hope wants to show them that there is a different way, there is a God who loves you, and there is hope for your future and He has a plan for you. It doesn’t matter where you come from. It doesn’t matter where you’re going, but what matters is that God loves you and says that He has chosen you.
Eryka’s Story
Eryka shares that when was super young, she had what many would say is the perfect Christian life… She went to Sunday school every week and she just loved being at church. But when she was about nine years old, her mom remarried her stepdad and she started feeling like she was in the middle of their conflict all the time, and that she had to pick sides. Home didn’t feel super safe to her. And then being a new kid in middle school, she was getting bullied at school a lot and so neither place felt safe to her. When Eryka hit her freshman year of high school, she wanted things to change. She started dating an older guy, and things did change. She felt like she had safety and security. However, what she didn’t know was that he and his friends had planned a gang rape for her one evening.
After that, Eryka was still going to church, she was going on mission trips, just trying to hold it all together. She didn’t tell anyone about what happened and about five years later when she was in college, she was pursuing a degree in sociology, and it just kept coming up. It became time that she had to deal with it. She was dealing with self-harm issues and eating disorder issues and one night, she attempted to take her life. And so after that, she started looking around for resources for people who had gone through sexual trauma and there wasn’t really much out there, especially when you don’t have insurance or if you don’t have family support or to help you get into these services. Eryka shares that a typical service like this costs about $200 a day. She finally found a Christian recovery home that was for life-controlling issues and was able to go there for a short period of time where God really instilled in her what her identity was. After the trauma, she really struggled thinking that she had to achieve and do things to feel worth it. But what God had taught her there was that she is valuable, no matter what… That she is cared for and loved and she doesn’t have to earn that. And after Eryka graduated from that recovery home is when she called up the IRS.
Eryka shared that there are simply not enough beds available at many of these homes. And when you have 10,000 trafficking cases, that means we need 10,000 beds. But there’s only about 450 beds in the United States for trafficking victims. And so when Eryka started hearing all this and seeing the need, it really just moved her to go forward. And as she was building Kairos Hope, she got a call from one of their board members asking where she went to deal with her trauma because they had a young lady who was in a similar situation and needed recovery. And that’s when she first heard about Miranda.
Miranda’s Story
Miranda dealt with sexual trauma in her college years. She shares that she believes she had put herself in a poor situation because she grew up in a house with domestic violence and had not dealt with that trauma. So in college, she was running around with the wrong crowd, hanging out at the wrong places, and dealing with alcohol addiction.
After her sexual trauma, her life just kind of spiraled. She couldn’t keep healthy relationships, she had a mild eating disorder, and also struggled with suicidality. And after she ended up in a hospital for suicide watch, that’s when her friend who was on the board of Kairos called Eryka.
Miranda says that at the time before she went to recovery, she remembers God saying, “You’re going to go into women’s ministry”, and she was like, I work at a bank, I’m not qualified to go into women’s ministry. But that’s how God works. He takes your story and He uses it for good.
So when she graduated from the program, Kairos Hope was hiring for a transitional care manager and that’s how she ended up helping women who have walked through similar circumstances.
How Can You Help?
Firstly, I want to give a huge thank you to both Eryka and Miranda for being willing to share their stories so transparently and vulnerably because that can be hard to talk about. If the mission of Kairos and the stories these girls shared touched your heart, here’s how you can help:
- Follow along on their website and Facebook page (linked at the bottom of this blog post)
- Share Kairos Hope with those you know who may be needing their services. Help others know that they can find freedom through Christ and that just because they’ve had trauma in the past doesn’t mean that they can’t have the abundant life that Jesus promises.
- Pray for their ministry
- Give – donate items such as food, toilet paper, etc., or give financially to help sponsor these women in need of their services
- If you’re local or in the area, offer your time in the way of mentorship to these women through Bible studies and service projects around the home
If you or someone you know is seeking healing from sexual trauma, you can apply on the Kairos Hope website. They currently have open beds available and your application is completely confidential.
Sweet friends, I would love if you would help me get the word out about Kairos Hope by sharing this episode on your social media, take a screenshot and share this episode or share the link with a friend so that we can help spread this ministry and so that we can help be the hands and feet and the light in a dark world.
Connect with Kairos Hope!
