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Kyle serves as Lead Pastor for People of Hope Church, in Murfreesboro, TN, a non-denominational church in the suburbs of Nashville. He and Stacy have been married for 32 years and they have three children, now in their 20’s. Kyle is a graduate of Baylor University and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He was a contributing writer for The Jesus Bible, published by Zondervan. He writes to inspire, to encourage, and to equip Christians for growing in their relationships with Jesus. He has two best friends–Stacy, his wife, and Summer, his 15-yr. old Golden Retriever.
Kyle is an incredible pastor and actually reached out to me with the most thoughtfully written email asking how he could serve you! I could tell that he had such a heart for the Lord and that he would bring fresh perspective as we talk about the messiness of following Jesus, purpose, and pizza!
Following Jesus can feel pretty messy sometimes because we’re imperfect people. We’re broken people. We’re works in progress, right? As Kyle says, following Jesus is messy because the reality is, although we love Jesus, we still sin. And that’s not going to change this side of heaven. And so we have to find a way to make provision for that. And one of the things that he tries to lead people in is to understand that Jesus gets it. He gets that we have heart desires to follow Him and to obey Him, but that we also have weaknesses. He brings up Jesus having breakfast on the beach in John 21 which is the moment following Peters denial of knowing Jesus. Jesus asks him some questions and they’re all about heart and commitment. He asks him, “Peter, do you love me?” and Peter replies, “You know I love you.” And then Jesus says, well, let’s keep moving forward. He says that by telling him to feed His lambs. And we all need a mechanism where we have a conversation with Jesus that includes heart and commitment and moving forward. If we don’t have some kind of a restoration process, where we embrace grace and truth, we’re just going to get stuck and not move forward.
Kyle mentions that one of the things that is interesting to him in his own battles with sin is that if he doesn’t get up and move forward, then satan wins twice. The first time he wins by getting him to buy what he’s selling. Then he wins again with those dark whispers of shame. He beats us down saying that we’re disappointments to God or that there’s so many other people who are more spiritual than we are. He beats you down and gets you out of the game. So we all have to keep learning and growing and we have to have a way to get up and keep going.
The 4-Part Restoration Process
I love what Kyle shared next which is a 4-part restoration process for coming to Jesus after we sin. The first one is just to say to Jesus, “I’m sorry for disobeying you.” The second one is, “Thank you for purchasing my forgiveness for ___.” And we need to fill in the blank. We need to name it and be specific. The third one is, “I love you and I want to live in obedience.” That’s kind of what Peter was saying back to Him when he replied, “Yes, you know I love you.” And that’s true about us even when we have those moments of failure or sin or give into temptation. Our hearts still love Jesus, and we want to get back up and keep going. And that’s the last one in the process, “Let’s keep going.”
Those are so good, right? We’re talking about repentance and laying it at the Lord’s feet, taking personal responsibility and just gratitude for what God’s done for us. Professing our love for the Lord and then just staying committed to taking those steps forward, to walking in wisdom to learn and grow which is what we’re all about here as we talk about living with intentional and genuine joy. It’s all about having eyes to see and ears to hear to glean the things that the Lord wants to teach us and to speak to our heart as we continue to pursue holiness. And as we continue to take those steps forward to grow and to be more like Him, to live like Him, to love like Him. It’s the most important thing as a believer, as we’re pursuing the Lord first and foremost, our relationship with Him and loving Him and loving people and pointing others to Him in the way that we live our lives.
Peter was probably afraid that something in the relationship with Jesus had changed because he failed to do what Jesus wanted him to do. But He restored him and helped him get up and get going again. And that’s why we need some sort of a process where we sit and say, yep, this is part of life and I’m going to fail. But I have to keep going because nothing in my relationship with Him has changed. His love for me has not changed even a little bit. I personally just breathe in peace in hearing that, even though it’s something that I know already in my heart, but to hear that again, just that grace upon grace, that unfailing love and knowing that hey, we’re going to make mistakes but Jesus loves us the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow.
Your Identity as a Child of God
I want to shift gears just a little bit because I think a lot of times our identity gets wrapped up in what we do. And so especially for the moms, but for anyone listening, it is so easy to get our whole identity wrapped up in motherhood or whatever it is that we’re doing. And sometimes it feels like we’ve even lost ourselves and we sort of like adopt this mindset that you know, what if I’m not a good mom or if I’m failing as a mom or if my kids you know, are misbehaving, then what’s my worth in this world? We may feel like we’re failing in our “identity” because we’ve got it wrong. But it’s so important that we see our identify first and foremost as a child of God. But how do we do that?
Well, as Kyle and I discuss, the roles we play in life whether it’s mom, dad, husband, wife, etc., those roles do not define our worth. We have to understand that our worth starts in the fact that we’re unique creations of God. You have value because you’ve been made by the Maker. There’s a cool passage in Isaiah 64:8 that says, “We are the clay and you are the potter. We are all the work of your hand.” Kyle shares about a coffee mug he picked up on a trip with his wife that was made by a local artist. It’s a little imperfect but he loves it. And if you look at the bottom, you’ll see the artist’s signature there. And it reminds you that it is a work of art and something really special. And it’s just a reminder that we have to have a sense that our worth comes because we’ve been made by our Maker, and we have to separate our identity from the roles that we play. Our value does not come from being a wife or a mom. If your kids are well behaved, that doesn’t give you value, and if your kids are poorly behaved, that doesn’t take away value because it’s separate. And sometimes as moms, we establish our value by comparing ourselves with other moms, and even how other kids are doing and letting that define value. But if we separate it and know that our value exists apart from our roles and titles, then you can declare and stand in the truth. Your value is set before you’re married, before you’re a mom, before your kids get out of bed. We can’t put our worth or value into the hands of stranger, especially in places like social media. We can’t let a stranger try to define whether or not we count, but we also can’t put our worth in the hands of our family members or our spouse. Wives and mamas, you’re a person of incredible worth. Even if your husband never affirms or complements you or if no other mom ever tells you that your kids are amazing. Those compliments are great, but they are just somebody giving a review on the art that God made. They are observations. But in the heart of God, for you as a wife and a mom, He has a profound connection with you. You’ve been made by the Maker and there’s only one of you. You’re like that coffee mug. It may be imperfect but when the artist looks at you, they’re proud to say, “That’s mine. I’m so pleased with that.”
As we learn to establish our identity separate from the roles we play, Kyle shares some beautiful thoughts that God put on his heart that would be great to post on your bathroom mirror, your phone’s screensaver, wherever you can see it often and be reminded of your identity in Christ.
God had me in mind before the creation of the world, so my identity isn’t set by the title I have.
God made me not to work for Him, but He made me as an expression of his creativity, for His pleasure.
God chose me, adopting me as His own.
God has given me His name.
God takes joy and delight in who I am because I am His.
Purpose and Calling
As Kyle and I continue our conversation, we dive into how we can get a clear picture of our purpose and the unique calling God has placed on each of our lives, and then how we can walk that out with authenticity, diligence, and faithfulness.
Kyle shares that our purpose needs to be thought of a little bit like the way we thought of worth and identity. It has to be separated from the roles that we play and from the titles that we carry. Your job is not your purpose. It’s the place where you live out your purpose. We have important jobs and titles, but they can’t be what defines our purpose.
So let’s think about purpose in a couple of ways. And let’s ask the question, why did God leave us here after we believed in Jesus? Why didn’t we just go straight to heaven? Kyle mentions two possible reasons. First of all, it’s to put God’s goodness and greatness on display. Through our lives, we’re going to have ups and downs, good, bad, and ugly. And as we walk with Jesus through it all, we see Him be faithful in all the ways He takes care of us and provides for us and sustains us. And we live our messy lives kind of out in front of people a little bit, and we put His goodness and greatest on display. And then the last reason is, according to Scripture, to represent Jesus and point people to have hope in Him. And you can do that with any title. You can do that as an intern. You can do that as a CEO. You can do that as a single person, and you can do that as a wife. You don’t have to have those titles to have purpose because our purpose needs to be thought of as separate.
I love that so much. I think when we’re rooted in our true identity and our true purpose, then life feels very fulfilling as we also live with the hope and the knowing that we will be spending eternity in heaven someday.
This conversation with Kyle was so much fun and I love the wisdom he shared. Be sure to tune into the podcast to hear my full conversation with Kyle for more encouragement as you walk through the messiness of following Jesus, knowing your true identity, and purpose. Oh, and you’ll also get to hear about Kyle’s thoughts on children in church and… his favorite kind of pizza!
Connect with Pastor Kyle!
