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Victoria Yates is an intuitive eating and body image coach for women. She helps women stop hating their body, learn to eat intuitively, and find consistency with healthy habits that help them feel their best, all without dieting.
I know that I personally have spent years teetering back and forth between the realization that our bodies are so amazing, and that they were created to carry new life, along with the realization that my body will never, ever, ever look the same as it once did. I was really looking forward to having Victoria on the podcast for a truly insightful conversation around body image and how to embrace the “mom bod”. We dove right in by talking about what body image actually is and she explained that it’s really just the thoughts that we have about our bodies but even deeper than that, it’s our self-image, how we see ourselves as people. We oftentimes think of body image as just physical but it’s also the thoughts we have and the way we think about our body.
It brings glory to God when we choose to love ourselves because He created us.
There’s a lot of controversy and buzzwords out there like self-care, self-love, all the things, but I personally believe that it brings glory to God when we choose to love ourselves because He created us and that mindset shift actually has helped me a lot along the way. So, how do we even begin to shift our mindset to look at it through this different lens?
Victoria points out that it really comes down to two things…awareness and curiosity. It starts by recognizing where you are right now with your thinking. Maybe you have all of these negative body image thoughts that aren’t serving you and maybe you aren’t even aware of how they are influencing you on a daily basis. She says you can ask yourself, “What am I thinking about my body today? Are these thoughts serving me? Are they helpful? Do I really want to think this way?” You don’t have to be stuck in those negative thought patterns and noticing them is a great place to start.
And then get curious. “Where did these thoughts come from? Are they true?” She points out something I love and that we talk about here all the time which is that we can always reference the Bible for the real source of truth. We can take our thoughts captive by putting them up against scripture and renewing our minds with God’s truth. What does God say about this? God says that we are wonderfully made. God says that we’re a masterpiece. He also says that our body is a temple and that we are supposed to take care of it. All of those good things can really shift how we’re thinking, how we’re treating ourselves and how we’re treating our body.
Growing up, Victoria struggled with body image issues starting in middle school as her body started to change, as I’m sure many of us can relate to. She tried to get her “ideal body” by controlling what she ate, counting calories, dieting, and exercising. But even when she got her ideal body, she still wasn’t happy. And she realized that body image is so much deeper than that. She points out that if we don’t actually address the deeper issues of our body image or self-image, who we see ourselves as, and our beliefs about ourselves, then changing our body is not going to fix it. It’s like a bandaid over the problem. And you’re always going to continue to find things that are going to influence your body image negatively.
How does God see me?
It’s really more of a heart set and a mindset thing before it’s an outward physical appearance thing. And I think it’s so important to recognize that when we look in the mirror, we look at how we see ourselves on the outside, but when we look in God’s mirror, He wants to speak to us about how He sees us from the inside to the outside. I think a really powerful and very simple exercise that we can all do is simply take out a sheet of paper and on one side of the paper we can write down “How do I see me” and on the other side of the page, write down “How does God see me?” and dig into scripture to write down the truth about how we were made and how God sees us.
So, as we’re talking about the journey through life and all these big changes that inevitably take place from puberty to having babies to perimenopause and menopause and just the aging process, there are undoubtedly going to be moments where our body just almost feels foreign to us because some of these changes are big changes. I mean, when you are carrying a baby and then when that baby is born, your body actually physically feels very different and somewhat foreign. Victoria speaks to this, having had two babies in the last two years, by sharing an analogy of how body change is just like any change that we go through in life. If you move to a new city, if you take a new job, it’s going to feel really uncomfortable for a while because that’s just how change is…it’s uncomfortable. She points out that so often with body change, we make it out to be a bad thing. But body change is 100% normal. It might be uncomfortable but that’s okay. She says the worst thing you can do is to fight against it by going on a diet or just completely changing your life in a way that’s not sustainable.
Anyone, in any body, at any point can love their body and it’s really just about a choice.
When you feel discomfort with a body change, again, get curious. Can you still decide to love and respect your body? The way that Victoria talks about loving your body is really important because it all boils down to the definition we have of love. She says “Anyone, in any body, at any point can love their body and it’s really just about a choice”. She compares it to loving your spouse. Sometimes it’s a warm and fuzzy feel-good feeling. And sometimes it’s based on the choice you made when you got married. The same goes for our bodies. So, loving and respecting your body, even through that change, is just about making decisions about how you care for your body and the way that you are talking to your body.
I love how she spoke to it being normal and okay to acknowledge that sometimes our bodies can feel a little bit uncomfortable. And that’s okay…feel that for a second. It’s a part of life. You don’t have to necessarily bounce right back and I think when we come out of the other side of a major life change like, for example, when we give birth, I don’t know that our bodies are really meant to go back to how they were before. And I mean that from so many aspects, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Have you ever thought about that?
Victoria and I go a little bit deeper on the podcast about how we can love and respect our body along with some tangible tips on what we can do on those hard body image days where we’re letting our thoughts get the best of us:
- Recognizing negative thinking and shifting into positive thoughts that you truly believe about yourself
- Go through your closet and get rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit and switch it out for clothing that you feel really good in
- Get outside for movement and fresh air
- Do a brain dump to release all of your negative thoughts
Our words hold power, Sis, and I just want to encourage every sweet sister who’s listening to just touch your tummy and speak truth over yourself that it’s a blessing and a miracle. Your body is amazing. And God is so good. He loves us so much and he created each of us so beautifully and so wonderfully. You are loved. You are a masterpiece.
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