In the classic movie, “Runaway Bride,” the main character, Maggie Carpenter, (played by Julie Roberts) is a small-town girl who becomes notorious for leaving grooms at the altar. Eventually, her story gets picked up by New York columnist Ike Graham, (played by Richard Gere). As the movie unfolds, Ike notices a seemingly minor detail about Maggie that ends up being a major turning point in the movie.
He picks up on the fact that Maggie doesn’t know how she likes her eggs cooked. If you haven’t seen the movie, you’ll have to watch it to see how all of this comes together, but what I want you to notice is that Maggie doesn’t know what she wants, or what she really likes. Because of this, she floats around and conforms to the likes of whatever man she is dating at the moment.
But then… everything changes when Maggie discovers her true wants, needs and values. Only then do the pieces of Maggie’s life seem to fall into place and she ends up genuinely happy and satisfied.
You see, Maggie didn’t know what she wanted because she didn’t know what she valued. Because of that, it felt impossible for her to make decisions or to commit to anything.
It can be exhausting trying to make a decision when you have to think things over and over and over, right? When you have to look at it this way and that way, this possible outcome or that possible outcome… like you’re stuck in “analysis paralysis.”
Does that resonate? Do you ever feel exhausted trying to make the (quote unquote) “right decision?” Like you’re totally stuck, like you don’t know what your answer or your commitment could or should be???
There is a simple solution…
To eliminate decision fatigue, you have to know what your values are.
If someone said to you “what are your values?,” you would likely respond with “love, family, kindness, integrity,” etc, right? Those are good things, but you can go much, much deeper than that. Things like: adventure, nature, organization, financial security, honor and authenticity, are values that we don’t typically list off the top of our head, yet when you take a closer look, you may be surprised to discover that those things are actually some of your core values.
Your values are the foundational beliefs that anchor your life. They define who you are at the core by reflecting the things that matter most to you. They are the principals, concepts and attributes that you hold most dear and they can serve as a roadmap, or a “guiding light” for how you can live your best life.
Knowing what your core values are, knowing what’s most important to you will help you to make decisions before there are even decisions to make. Let me say that again… Knowing what your core values are will help you to make decisions before there are even decisions to make.
Good-bye decision fatigue. And good-bye analysis paralysis!
Your values are such a part of you that you can even become known for them. I bet you know someone who values being on time. They are the first to arrive at every event, every time. And I bet you know someone who values fun. They are the life of the party wherever they go!
When we dig into the scripture, we can uncover many important core values and examples of people who lived by their values….
Queen Esther held values of courage and obedience.
Ruth held a value of loyalty.
Jesus’ disciples held values of humility, courage, wisdom and counsel.
One of Jesus’ core values was kindness.
Pharaoh held values of power and being in control. That didn’t actually work out to well for him, but he held very tightly to those core values nonetheless.
Moses held values of trust and leadership as he heeded God’s Word and led God’s people out of captivity from Pharaoh.
We can find many other examples of core values in the scriptures. Let’s take a look at a few of them…
Servanthood: In Matthew 20:25-28 Jesus teaches about the values of humbleness and servanthood.
“Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them. It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.””
Generosity: In 2 Corinthians 9:5-7 we find the value of generosity.
“Therefore I considered it necessary to urge the brothers to go on ahead to you and arrange in advance the generous gift you promised, so that it will be ready as a gift and not as an extortion. The point is this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. Each person should do as he has decided in his heart—not reluctantly or out of compulsion, since God loves a cheerful giver.”
Diligence: Proverbs 10:4 illustrates the value of diligence.
“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.”
Are you beginning to see how the Bible is loaded up with core values for you to discover?!
See if you can identify all the values mentioned in Colossians 3:12-14…
“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
There are tons of important values listed out in these verses: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Forgiveness. Love.
So, friend, what are YOUR core values?
What are the things, the attributes, the characteristics that you really, really value? Things that are deeper than the surface-y answer of “faith and family.” Do you value adventure, freedom, honor?
I encourage you to really think about this and to discover and write down what your top values are. What are the 3-5 things that you really deeply value?
Knowing your values is going to help you create a vision of what your best life looks like. It’s going to help you eliminate decision fatigue as you face circumstances and situations where you have to make a choice. When something comes up, you’ll be able to look at your values and they will guide towards the answer and the solutions that are best for you.
Together, let’s commit to knowing our values and to living them out. I say yes, and amen to that!
If you want to go deeper, or if you’re looking for more guidance, check out my easy-to-use life coaching course at FaithFueledBreakthrough.com
Until next time, keep living with joy and with your core values in mind!
