How to Find More Hours in the Day When Motherhood is Overwhelming You

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Cason is a wife, girl mom of 3, speaker, mentor, and podcast host. She helps moms SIMPLIFY routines to create more time for themselves. Cason believes when we partner with God and take tiny steps of action, our lives will be transformed and reflect the abundant life God promises us, regardless of our season in motherhood.

Today’s podcast episode goes hand in hand with my word of the year, relatable, because we’re talking about how to find more hours in the day when motherhood feels overwhelming. Now, if you have kiddos, you know that it doesn’t get much more relatable than that.

Cason joined me on this episode to share so much wisdom on helping busy, overwhelmed moms simplify routines and find more time for themselves…because we all need that! She speaks from experience because 8 years ago, she found herself in full-on survival mode. And not just for a few days, not just for a few weeks, but she felt overwhelmed constantly. It was like chronic overwhelm in her head. She felt like life was just happening to her, like she had no control over anything. She felt like a hot mess. Struggling with depression, no motivation, and no structure, she kept asking herself, “Why can’t I get it together? What is wrong with me?”. Cason hit her breaking point one day as she was praying and thinking there had to be more to motherhood than this overwhelm that she was feeling. And she began to realize that as hard as she had been trying and all this effort that she felt like she was putting in to try to do all the things, most of it was really an effort and an attempt at running away from herself, running from her circumstances, her disappointment and unmet expectations.

You were made for more.

Cason shares about how she was forced to do some soul searching to figure out what she really needs. What does she enjoy? And then she started to take small steps of action and start to shift her mindset to get intentional. She started to center her identity in Christ and let her competence come from who He says she is, which empowered her to set clear boundaries for herself and for her life. Step by step, she was able to create a more intentional life that she is proud of. Her message is one of hope for all of the mamas out there. You too can partner with the Holy Spirit to create this change in your own life. And it starts with finding simple routines, finding yourself again, creating sustainable habits, and creating an intentional motherhood that does not have to be overwhelming or complicated.

I absolutely love her message and the fact that it lets other moms know that they are not alone. I honestly feel like almost every mom goes through this and you kind of come to a point where you’re like, you know what, I know that God has more for my life than this. And that’s when our heart gets real teachable. We get real hungry, right? And that’s when we started digging. That’s where the Lord has space to really move and work, like he’s knocking on the door of every mama’s heart and we finally say, okay, let’s open the door. We’re going to open our ears and our eyes and our hearts to who God says we are, to how He calls us to live, by knowing Him and by knowing His Word. And I feel like that’s really how you kind of get out of that pit. Every mom really has to come to that point where she says…enough is enough. I was made for more.

Where do I start?

For the moms out there who are in that teachable, hungry place, that space where they’re ready for more, where do you start? Here’s the first step: Knowing your identity in Christ.

We have to get back to the Word, we have to get grounded and rooted in who God says we are. And there are so many messages that the world and society put out there that say what mom life looks like and this is just who you are now because you’re a mom and this is what this means and what it has to be. For Cason, for myself, and for all the other mama’s out there, here is your reminder that God’s Word is the way. Christian motherhood looks differently. It’s not going to make sense to someone else who maybe doesn’t believe in Christ and isn’t a Jesus follower and that’s okay because we’re called to be set apart. But it begins with that identity in Christ. Consuming the Word and just having it in your life, whether you’re playing it through the Bible app on your phone, or you’re sitting down reading a hard copy of the Bible, whatever it is, just having the Word wash over you will give you strength and wisdom for each day.

Practically speaking, one of the things that Cason advises all moms to do is to ask themselves, “What do I want more of?”. Take a minute to ask yourself that question and then also think about who you want to be. And then take small action. She also stressed the importance of reaching out for help if you need it. It’s okay to ask for help because things are going to feel heavy. It’s going to feel like too much and when you find yourself there, then ask for help.

Another practical way to ditch the overwhelm is reconnecting with your mind and body which can help you feel more centered and grounded. Start your day by asking yourself, “How am I feeling? What does my body feel like?”. It’s really just this process of becoming more self-aware. The last thing she shared on this is looking for pockets of time in your day that you’re maybe wasting, maybe on your phone, watching TV, etc. In those moments, ask yourself what would make you feel better right now? What do you need in that moment? And then start doing that for yourself. No one is going to come along and do those things for you so you have to just give yourself permission to do those things and get into the practice of living that out.

I kind of have a little friction point with this buzzword of “self-care” because I think it gets thrown around and used and abused and I think it looks different for everyone. But I just think it really comes down to awareness and knowing what you need, mentally physically, and emotionally. The Bible says that without a vision people perish. It says to write the vision and to make it plain. Then that’s when you can start mapping out how the heck it is that you’re actually going to get there. Think about and embrace the truth and sit down and take the time to strategize and write out an action plan.

When it comes to finding those pockets of time that you’re maybe wasting, one of my favorite exercises for this is to take out a sheet of paper and for 48 hours, on the hour, (when you’re awake), track your time. At the end of each hour, write down what you just spent that last hour doing. It’s a great and a very eye-opening way to find out where you have pockets of time or where you’re actually wasting time.

Routines to Beat the Overwhelm

If you’re looking for a couple of tips on how to beat the overwhelm, find more hours in your day and just find something to help your days run more smoothly overall, Cason shared how impactful a mini morning routine can be. This is something she implemented for herself that really turned her days around. If you’re not a morning person, don’t worry! Cason started by doing a quick 5 minutes every morning and then gradually increased that time. This extra time in the morning gives you an opportunity to ask yourself those questions we talked about like, how does your body feel, what are carrying from yesterday or is there anything on your mind or something that is bothering you. What are you believing about yourself or believing about the day ahead? She mentioned this awesome point which really deserves a place on a t-shirt, a bumper sticker, a coffee mug…everywhere, and that is, no matter how many people you have surrounding you and supporting you, no one is likely checking on you all the time. Everybody is busy and while they’re not intentionally not asking you how are you, a lot of us are suffering alone and no one really knows what’s going on behind closed doors. As we start to feel that overwhelm and disconnect as moms, you have to be your own best friend. And you can do that by giving yourself that quick morning check-in. As God’s daughter, you were created by Him. You are His creation, you are valuable. And you should treat yourself as such. And that looks like turning inward sometimes and giving some attention to yourself.

Cason mentioned the power of one when she was diving into what her morning routine typically consists of and how she tries to find one nugget of wisdom through her morning Bible reading that she can take with her throughout the day. And this discussion brought up something I love which is called the One Degree Principle and it goes right along with making small steps toward small changes. The one degree principle is all about making a change so small that your brain barely recognizes that you’re changing something. Your brain is actually wired to resist change and to keep you, honestly, kind-of stuck in the routines and habits you’ve already created. But, if we make a change so minute, so small, like a one degree change, those small changes then eventually turn into really big impact and big change in our life. And again, as Cason was talking about routines there, one thing that was going through my mind is that I frequently ask myself the question, “How can I set myself up for success?” So whether it’s your morning routine or a night routine, you know before you go to bed with your family, or if you’re thinking about your family, how can you set your family up for success? What one small change can you make, what one small thing can you do to set your family or yourself up for success? And if you’ll start there, it’s going to help you create some new routines that will make a big impact.

Creating Consistency and Taking Action

We covered so much goodness in this episode with Cason! As you begin to think about these things, here is a quick recap and some tips to help you take action and really create consistency:

*Know where you’re going

Know your why, know why it matters to you, and have direction. We have to have direction in order to have focus in order to have clear intention. What do you want more of? What do you want to feel more of? What matters to you?

*Start small

Let go of perfection in motherhood because that is keeping you stuck. We believe that it has to look a certain way and feel a certain way in order for it to count. So, start small, do what you can. And once you create consistency around that, you can start to build on it. What’s the one thing you need in your life right now? How can you make that one thing happen as often as possible?

*Look for pockets of time

We all have pockets of time that we’re wasting. Look for those pockets and utilize those. Remember to try out the 48 hour exercise. I think you’ll find it truly eye-opening!

*Just do it

Just keep showing up. Because we’re going to fail. The brain has so much resistance because it literally doesn’t know if this new thing is going to kill you or knock you out completely. Expect the resistance and then get back up and do it again. But do not give up on yourself. Do not give up on this thing that you know and believe is important.

I know I’m going to be coming back to this episode and hitting play over and over again. Because even if these are things that you already know, they are great reminders. You’re doing a hard thing, Sister. Keep going, keep growing.

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